Admitting is the First Step
I continue to call because I’m selfish
The trickle of your voice in my ear canal
is my sweet, after sour days at a bullshit job
straining smiles at people you wouldn’t have to pay me
We’re done, I know
but your tone alleviates the heavy of your distance
Pick up the phone
How dare you have a life
outside allowing my ex-ears to lick up
every drip of my name from your ex-mouth
I type your name into my head on most nights
however swollen or fragmented the moon
When the bed makes itself big
and my thoughts make me draped in snow
You had the right to remain silent
follow me on that so busy afternoon
And goodbye forever tiptoed
onto my tongue
without revealing itself
Until at night
when my bed makes itself big
The first time I hugged him
and the last time
smelled the same.
Tide pods and uncertainty
of how long to linger
how much to squeeze.
To rub my back
or let his hand drop
Meet my eyes with a smile
before he looked away
for the first or last time.
The beginning saw us both in Vans
He handed mine back to me
in a bag at the end
And shoved my heart into
one of the foot holes
like bundled socks
AngieDoe (Marion Batts) is an American writer, singer, and creative director currently living in New York. She received her Masters in Creative Writing from the University of Hertfordshire in the United Kingdom. While she thoroughly enjoys writing, music serves as another passion in her life and she is currently trying to teach herself to play guitar. Follow her on Instagram for more of her work.
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